In dire need of a vacation.

I was supposed to be on vacation this week, but I'm not. I had to postpone my trip two weeks to accommodate others. Why am I always accommodating others? Let us hope that I did not make a poor choice by doing so. Anyway, it is done. So instead I'm stuck here at work, during the not-busy time of year--my work for this fiscal year is done, and I hesitate to embark upon any new ventures until they roll out the state of the union for next fiscal...so I'm stuck in a sort of busywork limbo, which would have been the perfect time for vacation. I know this is a first-world problem, but it is really hard to anticipate a postponed vacation, at least for me it is. It seems like it will never get here, and so I haven't even really been thinking about it, and anticipation is the key to any vacation.

In two weeks I'll be bringing baby home to Louisiana to visit my family. She's only met my mother and sister, and that was back when she was 7 weeks--and she will be 7 months by the time we visit. So will it be a vacation? Well, yes and no, depending on how you define vacation. I will have lots of help with the baby, which will be good,  and I will be with family that I don't see often. There will be a pool at least one of the days if not more, so that's something. But if you define a vacation as time spent away from kids and family, then it won't be a vacation. I can't imagine taking a vacation without her at this point though, and don't understand why anyone would. Yes it's true sometimes I daydream about what it would be like to sleep in and not have to get up and feed the baby, but that's just a daydream, I don't want it to be a reality!

What I need is a mental break away from work, and any time spent away from work is good, but weekends are just too short. Plus I have this foreboding feeling that some things are going to roll down that aren't going to be good come July 1st--we shall see. Things have felt bleak around here for a few months now, and I'm not optimistic about the future here. It is difficult to remain positive in an environment that shreds morale day after day, where there is no communication from anyone about anything, ever, just speculation and gossip.

Let's remember why we work, after all--to fund our real lives, the part of our lives where we have control ourselves and our time, when we call the shots, time spent with people we love, and even time spent with people we don't. Hey, my standards are really low these days--pretty much anytime I'm not at work, it's pretty much awesome, no matter what I'm doing. And I like my job, or at least I used to. Not sure what the future holds, but whatever happens, I'm in it for the long haul.