What a week this has been! I have to take a moment to write it all down, it's been such a crazy ride.
Ok, so last week I was told that I got the promotion I'd been trying for, but with the caveat that I couldn't tell anyone, except a few close friends. So this week, they finally announced my promotion publicly on Tuesday, my birthday was Wednesday, and then Thursday morning I took a pregnancy test and it was positive (and then a blood test Friday confirmed it). Wham! Bang! Welcome to the rest of your life! Could the universe have been any less subtle about what it thinks I can handle?
I started embarking down the pregnancy path last fall, but the job thing only just happened in February, when they posted the positions. I expected one of them to 'take' so to speak, but both! At the same time! This is craziness, and a tad overwhelming--I have a lot of new responsibilities and new things to learn in my new job (which starts tomorrow, officially), and now some of my focus has been shifted away from that towards this baby thing. But I vow to give the same effort at the new job that I would have if a baby had not been interposed.
Still, it's exciting--I'm not really having any symptoms yet (I'm only in my 5th week), and I've told a handful of close friends so that I have people to talk to and commiserate with--but we have decided not to tell our nuclear families until right before we leave for London, and I will also be turning off commenting on my Facebook wall while we are gone to avoid random baby postings, and will probably send out a preemptive Facebook email to family members to keep them quiet! It's sad that I have to consider the FB element in something like this, but it's how we live today, and blurring the lines between work and family on FB is something to be cognizant of. The last thing I need is some distant cousin blabbing their fat mouth on FB about this for my co-workers to see!
I still can't decide when to tell my boss--I was going to tell her the first week of April when we're in California for work, but now I'm thinking I should wait until we return from London to be sure that this is really happening (that is, that we're out of the miscarriage window). Because once I tell her, it will be open season at work, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this being public knowledge too prematurely, as it could seriously backfire on me should something go wrong. So if she questions why I'm not drinking, I think I will just muster up some excuse about 'trying' and taking weeks off of drinking. That should hold for the time being. Let's hope she doesn't tell me something nasty to discourage me from trying right now given my promotion--that would be awful! I don't think she will though--she loves babies! Still, you never know how people will react, especially when they have a stake in your professional career.
Despite my usual tendency to look on the downside and expect the worst, I'm really trying to focus on the positive, and am taking it day by day. This is good news and anyone who tries to make me feel bad about it, isn't my friend. I can handle both jobs, and it's not like I'm delivering tomorrow! I have until Thanksgiving week to get adjusted to my new career and prove myself before I have to take a 3-month leave, and I will still get to travel to the sales meeting this summer.
Let the adventure begin!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Last post at 34
It's a quarter to midnight on the eve of my birthday, so I thought I would drop a few thoughts into the universe before I go to bed.
Today was the official announcement of my promotion--a week to the day after I was informed of it. Needless to say, it feels much different now that it is public knowledge! I am relieved to have that over with. I got tons of 'congrats' emails from random and various people throughout the company, some I don't even know, but who I'm sure I will be working with at some point in the future.
It's been weird, it kind of feels like I'm watching this happen to someone else, it doesn't feel quite real. But I'm sure it will feel all too real next week when I officially start. I already know what my first tasks will be right out of the gate, some daunting, some not so daunting. All in all, it's good, but weird.
Things are always weird at moments of transition, I realize this, but I welcome it. I am ready for it.
So on the eve of my 35th birthday, I get a promotion, and am able to fit into a dress that I couldn't fit into 6 months ago, because now I'm in the best shape of my life. How did I spend this night? Eating pizza, drinking wine, and watching episodes of Doctor Who. Yes, underwhelming, but isn't that life? At the end of the day, life goes on as before, on some levels, because it must.
Today was the official announcement of my promotion--a week to the day after I was informed of it. Needless to say, it feels much different now that it is public knowledge! I am relieved to have that over with. I got tons of 'congrats' emails from random and various people throughout the company, some I don't even know, but who I'm sure I will be working with at some point in the future.
It's been weird, it kind of feels like I'm watching this happen to someone else, it doesn't feel quite real. But I'm sure it will feel all too real next week when I officially start. I already know what my first tasks will be right out of the gate, some daunting, some not so daunting. All in all, it's good, but weird.
Things are always weird at moments of transition, I realize this, but I welcome it. I am ready for it.
So on the eve of my 35th birthday, I get a promotion, and am able to fit into a dress that I couldn't fit into 6 months ago, because now I'm in the best shape of my life. How did I spend this night? Eating pizza, drinking wine, and watching episodes of Doctor Who. Yes, underwhelming, but isn't that life? At the end of the day, life goes on as before, on some levels, because it must.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tired but Thankful Thursday
I stupidly went to two high-impact cardio classes tonight, and now everything is blurry, I'm so tired. Good news is I was able to complete the second one--sure it may have felt a tad like torture towards the end there, but I DID IT.
Now there's a bowl of mini-eggs and a glass of red wine within reach of my hand, and my feet up next to two sweetly sleeping pugs. Last night I finished booking our London excursions, and just tonight I found the $100 that my father-in-law hid inside a fold-out map in one of the London guides they got us for Christmas.
Oh yeah, and on Tuesday I found out that I got the promotion I've been seeking for a couple of years now. And today the sun was out for the first time in weeks and it got up to 50 degrees.
Awesome weeks like this don't happen often, so I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts.. Tomorrow the announcement about my promotion is supposed to go out to everyone, so I can stop keeping the secret.
This weekend kicks off my week-long birthday celebration. My husband is taking me to dinner on Saturday and then out dancing, then we are going to his parents the next day for strawberry-rhubarb pie (my request) and gifts. Wednesday (my birthday) I took the day off, and plan to sleep in, go shopping, and hit two exercises classes in the afternoon (again). And then next weekend, I'm having a few friends over for a party.
I couldn't think of a better way to ring out my 35th year.
Now there's a bowl of mini-eggs and a glass of red wine within reach of my hand, and my feet up next to two sweetly sleeping pugs. Last night I finished booking our London excursions, and just tonight I found the $100 that my father-in-law hid inside a fold-out map in one of the London guides they got us for Christmas.
Oh yeah, and on Tuesday I found out that I got the promotion I've been seeking for a couple of years now. And today the sun was out for the first time in weeks and it got up to 50 degrees.
Awesome weeks like this don't happen often, so I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts.. Tomorrow the announcement about my promotion is supposed to go out to everyone, so I can stop keeping the secret.
This weekend kicks off my week-long birthday celebration. My husband is taking me to dinner on Saturday and then out dancing, then we are going to his parents the next day for strawberry-rhubarb pie (my request) and gifts. Wednesday (my birthday) I took the day off, and plan to sleep in, go shopping, and hit two exercises classes in the afternoon (again). And then next weekend, I'm having a few friends over for a party.
I couldn't think of a better way to ring out my 35th year.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Stress Dreams
In the past week I have been subconsciously stressed while waiting to hear the verdict on a job I applied for nearly 6 weeks ago, and this has led to me having stressful dreams.
As if I weren't stressed enough when awake, my subconscious mind is now taking delight in placing me in nightmarish scenarios that don't resolve, and only end when I wake up.
The first dream I was back in high school but as an adult, wandering around labyrinthine hallways, searching for my locker, then finding it, only to discover that I didn't know the combination, and then searching endlessly for my classroom, feeling the entire time that I was going to be late to class. It was like experiencing first-day-of-school jitters all over again, except that I had a full-time day job, and was additionally stressed because I couldn't make the daytime classes. The whole dream I kept saying to myself, 'this is ridiculous, I should be able to find these things, I'm not giving up' but in the end I did give up after wasting hours (in the dream) trying to find the locker and then my classroom and not having any luck. I remember saying something in the dream like, 'I don't need school anyway because I have a job!'
Then this morning I had a work dream--my actual office was in the dream, as well as the people I work with--just the thing I want to dream about on a Sunday morning. In this dream I was suddenly laid off, and wasn't told why. I spent the entire dream trying to find out the reason, texting friends and colleagues to let them know I was fired, but no one would get back to me or even respond. I was shut out cold and left to guess the reason for my dismissal on my own, which was maddening. Was I was late too much? Did they track the amount of time I was on Facebook this week? Did they find someone better to take my place? Are they laying me off because they are about to promote me to another position? Crazy stuff.
I also bite my nails when I'm really stressed. I was a nail-biter as a child, but as an adult I can control it most of the time, but when I'm stressed, I bite the nails and the skin around the nails, until my fingers are sore. When it's really bad I draw blood because I bite the same area repeatedly. It's pretty awful about now.
I think the way my company handles the interview process is pretty inconsiderate; I mean six weeks wtf?? And I already know I will have to wait another week at least, because some people are still interviewing this coming week, which means nothing will be communicated until the following week at the earliest. That week is also my birthday week. Let's hope it's good news, and that my party turns into a double celebration. In the meantime, I'm going to have to exercise a lot to keep my stress levels in check, and do my best to lose myself in mindless entertainment.
As if I weren't stressed enough when awake, my subconscious mind is now taking delight in placing me in nightmarish scenarios that don't resolve, and only end when I wake up.
The first dream I was back in high school but as an adult, wandering around labyrinthine hallways, searching for my locker, then finding it, only to discover that I didn't know the combination, and then searching endlessly for my classroom, feeling the entire time that I was going to be late to class. It was like experiencing first-day-of-school jitters all over again, except that I had a full-time day job, and was additionally stressed because I couldn't make the daytime classes. The whole dream I kept saying to myself, 'this is ridiculous, I should be able to find these things, I'm not giving up' but in the end I did give up after wasting hours (in the dream) trying to find the locker and then my classroom and not having any luck. I remember saying something in the dream like, 'I don't need school anyway because I have a job!'
Then this morning I had a work dream--my actual office was in the dream, as well as the people I work with--just the thing I want to dream about on a Sunday morning. In this dream I was suddenly laid off, and wasn't told why. I spent the entire dream trying to find out the reason, texting friends and colleagues to let them know I was fired, but no one would get back to me or even respond. I was shut out cold and left to guess the reason for my dismissal on my own, which was maddening. Was I was late too much? Did they track the amount of time I was on Facebook this week? Did they find someone better to take my place? Are they laying me off because they are about to promote me to another position? Crazy stuff.
I also bite my nails when I'm really stressed. I was a nail-biter as a child, but as an adult I can control it most of the time, but when I'm stressed, I bite the nails and the skin around the nails, until my fingers are sore. When it's really bad I draw blood because I bite the same area repeatedly. It's pretty awful about now.
I think the way my company handles the interview process is pretty inconsiderate; I mean six weeks wtf?? And I already know I will have to wait another week at least, because some people are still interviewing this coming week, which means nothing will be communicated until the following week at the earliest. That week is also my birthday week. Let's hope it's good news, and that my party turns into a double celebration. In the meantime, I'm going to have to exercise a lot to keep my stress levels in check, and do my best to lose myself in mindless entertainment.
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