I just got another invite to a girly party--this one for skincare products. And another friend sent an email about 'her' jewelry sale. I'm all for my friends and colleagues being pseudo-entrepreneurial and all, but I resent my friendship or acquaintanceship being called on to make them money. As a rule I don't attend or host these parties, period. I once attended a handbag party, and felt coerced into spending $50 for a fucking clutch purse--and it was at that time that I said never again to this shit. They say there's no pressure to buy, but when all of your friends and colleagues are shelling out for the product, you feel like maybe you're missing out, maybe they know something you don't. And you don't want to look like an asshole.
None of this stuff is cheap. I've also been to a jewelry party, a kitchen gadgets party, and a sex toy party. The whole point of having these parties is to get the invitees (aka your friends) to spend money, so if you go and sit there and eat stuff and refuse to buy, you're the outcast in the situation. You're better off not attending at all! Which is what I do now--and yet I still get these invites a few times a year. The kitchen gadgets party was cool because they demonstrated their wares, and you got to taste the results. And the sex toy party was a good time out because it was at a bar and there was drinking and bingo. The purse, jewelry, and makeup "parties" (a misnomer because they are nothing like) are usually at someone's house, and are soul-killing affairs. You sit around chit-chatting with women you barely know, and curdle as they start to ooh and ahh over the lamest crap you've ever seen, and if you're like me, you end up scouring the catalogs in desperation, trying to find something to order that isn't expensive and that you might actually use/wear, and then later mocks you for succumbing to social pressure. I have my share of stale jewelry in my jewelry box; the clutch I never use but I keep it because it cost me $50.
The only product party that I haven't gotten a repeat invite to over the past 8 years is the kitchen gadgets one--and that is one that I might actually attend! I still have/use the items I bought at the last one, and they are quality items. I even got a good recipe out of it, something I've made a handful of times since, to rave reviews. Invite me to THAT shit! But this other crap? I don't have time or money to waste on purses, costume jewelry, fancy makeup, or vegan skincare. I've already got a purse, I use makeup, do my own pedicures, and I wash my face and use lotion with SPF everyday. As far as I'm concerned, I've got that shit covered. But then I'm not a high-maintenance female who is obsessed with looking young. Maybe in 5-10 years, I will be. But for now, I still prefer cheap and uncomplicated in that department.
And whatever happened to Tupperware parties? I remember my mom dragged me to one when I was small, and they made that crap seem really cool. Tupperware I could use. But these parties aren't about selling you something cool that might make your life easier--they are about selling you a fantasy version of yourself that plays on feminine insecurities. Behind each of these parties is a question that gets at the core of the insecurity that is being manipulated for dollars. Makeup/skincare: Don't you want to look young and fabulous? Purses: What self-respecting female wouldn't want to make a statement with her own individualized purse? And jewelry: Every woman likes to feel feminine and powerful! Finally, sex toys. Instead of a question, for this one it's more like a statement: I'll forego the makeup/purses/jewelry and go straight for the giant remote-controlled, glow-in-the-dark dildo-slash-vibrator, thanks. Depending on how you interpret it, that can be an empowering statement or a really sad one.
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