Where am I today? Sitting on my couch in upstate New York, looking out onto dreary winter skies, and the occasional pathetic snow flurry, pugs snoring at my feet. Where should I have been today? Down in New Orleans, at Mardi Gras with my family, braving the cold and lack of bathrooms. Why didn't I get there? The brutal winter storm that paralyzed travel nationwide last week, that's why. The irony? We haven't had much snow at all here this week in the Albany area. In fact, it's been downright sunny.
If the weather hadn't interfered, I would be on St. Charles Avenue right now with friends and family, watching Thoth and Okeanos pass, and then, later this afternoon, Bacchus, one of the most anticipated Mardi Gras parades on Mardi Gras weekend, especially this year, since Drew Brees is the Grand Marshall. I'd be buzzed already because I would have started drinking before noon, covered in beads, and no doubt screaming and scrambling for a doubloon in Brees' likeness later tonight. But most of all, I would be hanging with my family and friends on St. Charles and Napoleon, passing a good time, and letting the good times roll.
Alas, it was not to be.
I could have tried to do something fun this weekend, but no matter what, it would have paled in comparison with what I WOULD have been doing. We did go to Boston overnight Friday, and while it was good to see old friends, eat Indian food, and get drunk on white wine, I felt the distance between myself and New Orleans even more. So last night and today, we are home, watching movies, not even trying to compete with what could have been. My husband made me pancakes this morning--it is Valentine's day after all--but now I'm sitting here writing this and feeling sorry for myself.
There will be other Mardi Gras in my future, I'm sure--nevermind that we've been away since 2001 and haven't been back for one yet--but never another one like this, following so closely on the heels of the Saints' unbelievable victory at the Super Bowl last weekend. The first football game I ever watched all the way through and enjoyed was the nail-biting championship game that sent the Saints to the Super Bowl with one field goal, making me an instant fan, at least of the Saints, if not football. My Uncle Butch has been a Saints fan as long as I can remember, even when they were an embarrassment, so I knew this was important, not just for him, but for the city of New Orleans. My uncles and cousins undertook a crazy, once-in-a-lifetime journey to Miami this year via an RV, and I was looking forward to hearing all the stories, looking at the pictures, and sharing in the excitement with them at Bacchus tonight.
But it was not to be.
Instead I am forever doomed to wonder how my life might have been different if I had made it home to Mardi Gras this year. Would it have been joyous and life-affirming, a Mardi Gras to remember, with something to celebrate that is bigger than everyone, hell, bigger than Mardi Gras itself? Who knows what numerous opportunities to strengthen family connections and friendships were lost to me, and opportunities to rediscover the New Orleans I knew 9 years ago.
Sure, I can plan to go home next month for a visit, but it won't be the same, not by a long shot. None of my family lives in New Orleans, so whenever I go home for holidays I almost never get to spend enough (any) time in New Orleans, which is why this time would have been different and great, because the fam was coming as well, and my loyalties weren't going to be as divided as usual. I could wait for a visit till July, when work is sending me there anyway--but any momentum gained by our Thanksgiving visit will be completely lost by then. No, I've got to get there this spring, maybe a long weekend for French Quarter fest and a visit with the fam.
This is just something I have to deal with as an expat Louisianian living in Yankee country. Would that there were world enough and (vacation) time for me to visit home on a more regular basis--but I'm not rich and, after all, my life is here, for now. I know I'm missing out on a lot back home, but it's been worth it to live here until recently, due to the high taxes and high unemployment rate in New York state. If New York doesn't start treating us better, we may very well have to head back to the swamp. At least then we'll pass a good time.
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