I saw this story in Gawker today and I shook my head in amazement. Then laughed maniacally at my own joke, which became the title of this blog. And then I shook my head some more.
Just when I think I've seen it all, there's always more.
We did it first in 2001 in the name of keeping the terrorists at bay. 'Yes, take all of my freedoms, please, if it means I can go on living in oblivion in debt up to my eyeballs. Yes, you're right, government, air travel is far too convenient, and we should jump at the opportunity to make this modern convenience an insufferable nightmare. What's that FAA? Now we have to fly naked as the day we were born? Well as long as I'm eating at the Bullshit Buffet, I'll take a huge helping of human degradation with a side of anal probe please.'
And now this iKey thing? The device that "lets Steve Jobs mediate your most private spaces?" I have read a lot of science fiction, and am familiar with the 'house of the future' concept, and I don't find it cool, I find it disturbing. I am continually amazed at people's apparent willingness to sign over their most important and private possessions in the name of ease and the all-important cool factor.
In the interest of full disclosure, I will level with you and say that I love making fun of people with iPhones. I really do. And they secretly love being made fun of, because the teasing only enhances their coolness. They know the iPhone is annoying and snooty, but they have one anyway--their iPhone is a choice, dammit, not a fashion trend.
All teasing aside, I see the iPhone as a pretty cool and valuable tool if you can afford one, or if your life is so busy that you need the internet at your fingertips every second (neither of which camp I fall into). But here's another secret about me: I am a neo-Luddite and I don't trust technology. There, I said it, but I don't mean it in the way that you think I do.
Technology these days all seems to be about creating a need for a product where there wasn't one previously. I get that, it's an ingenious marketing strategy, and the bottom line is, these devices are cool, and you can't argue with cool (I've tried). But then there are people like me, stubborn atheists who refuse to get on the bandwagon, and who aren't lured by the cool factor. I have a need for a cell phone, yes, but I do not have need nor desire for a PDA or Smartphone so that I can surf the internet 'on the fly' (for a fee). I'm not saying those things aren't important for some people, they're just not priorities for me, and I refuse to complicate my life unnecessarily. I happen to love my old video iPod, I think it's great--and have no desire for an iTouch or any of the newer iterations of the Nano or Shuffle, thank you very much.
Here's a question no one asks: why have one device that does everything? Why hook yourself up to the world at every waking moment? You will inevitably become dependent on that device, and if you're not careful, that device will own you, and you'll miss out on true experiences in the here and now because your phone buzzed and you looked down. If you're ok with that, fine--but there's room here for those of us who don't, too.
Instead of letting a device define the path of my life for me, I define my technology choices by what I don't want in my life. I don't want to feel like I should check my email when on vacation just because I have the capability to. I don't want a phone call interrupting my music experience. I don't want people having access to me whenever they want. I don't want to wear a weird thing on my ear and appear to talk to myself in public. I don't need to talk while driving. I don't need a single device that pays my bills, unlocks my car and house, and pays for my purchases. I don't need to know what else I could be missing. I don't want to be stymied and overwhelmed at every turn by tweets and messages and downloads and emails and dinner options.
Technology is everywhere. The more we let it control for us, the more controlled our lives become; it is for us to decide how much control we give up for the sake of ease and efficiency. Are we really that busy and important? I seriously doubt it.
There is something to be said for being 'unreachable' from time to time, and I just can't let go of that last freedom.
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